A charmless life

I can feel the blood pooling inside my wool jacket as I helplessly lay in a wheat-field outside of Electroskovodsk. I cannot help but stare up at the great blue sky above me as it swallows my entire field of view in its gigantic and indifferent jaws. It calls to me, not with words, but with its entire presence. It is so huge, I am but a mote of dust beneath it.  

I could not see the sniper who shot me, nor could I any longer feel that my hand still clutched the useless and unused magnum revolver. My nerves had already begun to harden and die. The blue sky turns inward, purple and black. I slip into darkness.

You are unconscious.

Footsteps, a zombie howl.

You are dead.

Without a doubt, an inauspicious death - but deservedly so. That life was focused on gear: guns, bullets, camo and baggage. The more I had the more exposed I felt, a squealing pig more content to hoard than to survive. 

I had played it all wrong. So very wrong(ly).

Strange as it seems, I felt relief as I waited for death and in my new life, armed with only I flashlight, I ironically feel stronger and lighter. 

I am resolved to only carry and take what I need to survive. To focus on the expansion of my armory is nothing short of stupidity.

We shall see how this story plays out. 

   

a couple of thoughts

It occurs to me after about 40-50 hours in-game that several features and ideas that DayZ really should expand upon. 

This game needs to emphasize melee combat instead of treating it as an afterthought. I realize that the Arma II engine will never allow DayZ to be quite as engaging a zombie-bashn'slicer as say, Dead Island or even Left4Dead- but a little polishing in terms of hitboxes, weapon reach, animations and reaction times would go a LONG way towards making this experience a cohesive one. I love the idea of weapons doubling as tools (Machete to open Can of Peaches) and I believe the current weapon diversity is good. Unfortunately, at the moment its all just a mad dash for the coveted of all melee in Dayz: the Ax - which not only one-hit kills zombies but is the only tool capable of keeping the player from freezing to death. 

Further, this game is depraved but it isn't depraved enough. Cannibalism should be as ubiquitous a game experience as hunting/gathering. 

I may be more than a little influenced by the Walking Dead and Fallout series when I say this, but it warms my heart in a dark dark way to imagine this game as open-season on Bambis. I suppose many would not like this right out of the gate but I seem to remember going into this game expecting a tough learning curve. I'm sure many feel as I do that hand-holding new players is often a bad way to go in the gaming industry. Apparently, DayZ is harder then it has ever been on newspawns, and this is a good thing- survival of the fittest and all that.

I can only imagine the blood pumping experience of hopping into DayZ the first 5-10 hours, frantically searching for food and tools while prowling cannibals/bandits hunt the weak at every corner. A freshspawn is trapped, the hunters calmly subdue their prey who can only cower before them and beg for her life.... Alternately, enter anti-cannibal players who blow them all away: a calculated trap. 

Whatever, it would all be gravy.

I feel like all the elements are there and I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds come "beta" or final release... but damn, do I want cannibals.

Anyway, I've had a lot of new ingame experiences to include some teaming up. I look forward to posting about this soon!

Shot to death

I made my way North to Верензино, a risky move in retrospect. I knew the area was dangerous but I figured I would at the very least finally get a good taste of humanity. Boy, did I ever.

I moved slowly and cautiously, looting building to building. In doing so, I scored a Longhorn pistol/sawed off rifle which went nicely with the 20 or so 7.62 rounds I had been carrying around forever now.

Berenzino is a scary place. I could easily hear frequent gunshots from some not-so-far off skirmish in the Northern part of the city. More than once I found myself diving the ground or dashing into the nearest building, my heart pounding. A sense of impending doom permeated every square block. I was starting to think that maybe this was a bad idea.

I heard doors opening and closing and step outside to see that the other player had already spotted me. He had a shotgun out but he held up one hand. I reciprocated, my own SKS in my hands but aimed at the ground.

  "Hello," I shouted to him, "I don't want any trouble, are you friendly?"

"Yes, friendly," he responded. He shouldered his gun and I reciprocated in kind. I slowly walked over.

He was lightly geared with a mish-mash of oddities. A construction helmet, pickaxe, child's backpack. All in all, he looked pretty fresh. I was suspicious, but instincts were telling me he was okay. I've heard the, "I'm a bandit" tone in other's voices before. This guy didn't have it.

"Do you have anything to trade?" I asked him, "I'm looking for empty clips, specifically 1911 mags."

"No, I have... uhhh... let me see," he paused, presumably to open his inventory. This guy was definitely fresh off the boat. I felt relieved, "disinfectant spray, beans, bandages..."

I stopped him, "its okay," I considered my own overflowing inventory, I saw my 9mm handgun, single round chambered that had been taking up way too much space for too long now. I decided to make a friendly gesture and dropped the gun + 19 bullets on the ground for him, "take it," I said.

He was grateful and offered to share some beans, which I declined. I asked him which way he was heading and he said he wasn't sure, he had just got this game. I told him where he was, and that this was a dangerous city. I recommended heading South West. His compass was broken so I used mine and pointed him in the right direction. We wished each other luck and parted ways.

It felt good to have had such a friendly interaction. The guy was genuinely friendly and I found that I really appreciated this having been shot at several times now.

I started to plot my next move when I heard several rapid gun shots coming from the Southwest. "Oh no," I thought. 

I dashed behind a wall and a short time later saw two moderately geared (and armed) players heading towards me. They were freely chatting to one another. My heart is pounding again.

My plan was to hide, but I think one of them spotted me in third-person. I shouted back, "BACK OFF, OR I SHOOT!"

I realized I was beside a Piano-House opposite a machine shop. The two players responded with, "are you in the house?" Shit, they hadn't spotted me, "put your hands on your head and lie down on the floor. We are coming in."

My initial reaction was to jump them in the house, but I decided that hiding in the machine shop would be a safer move.

I waited until they were inside before I made a dash and set up position behind a generator.

I was close enough I could hear them talking the entire time, my scope fixed on the doorway.

"We are coming upstairs," clearly, these guys would not have given me much of a choice. I decided that they had most likely killed the friendly noob and were looking to roll me too. I waited.

They discussed for awhile something or another about gear. Eventually, I saw the door open. My heart skipped a beat as they stood single file in front of my cross hairs...

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

I unloaded into them, and while I clearly saw blood spray, neither one of them him the ground. FUCK.

The friend closest to the door took off sprinting at random, he was shouting, "shit shit shit," while the other guy closed the door and hid in the house. I decided to duck and run myself since I had clearly lost the element of surprise. I wasted five bullets but maybe these guys will think twice next time they try to jump what they assume to be an easy mark.

I hop through some gardens and make my way into a house where I am promptly disconnected by the server. I log back into another highly populated server, safe inside the room I was in.

A player begins talking to me, "I know you are in there."

This guy is completely new, he speaks with a gutteral lisp. He walks right up to my door, how the fuck did he spot me?

I am completely cornered, I see his shadow approach. He can easily see me in third person, I try and move around a lot, throw him off.

My heart pounds for what seems like an eternity. This punk opens and closes the door. Laughs. Taunts. All the usual bully shit.

He eventually gets fed up and tries to take a shot. I blast three rounds in his direction, he unloads a double barrel in my direction. We both miss.

I hear him reload and I decide to charge him. A zombie gets in our path and I'm forced to down him. Two rounds left in the SKS, I run around the corner and see his legs. I blast off a round. He dives up a staircase and I hear him fire.

You are dead.

Wtf? I think. How did he shoot me through the stairs?

I guess it doesn't matter.

I feel somewhat relieved, albeit annoyed to go out like this. The action was intense all around and within a half hour I had interacted with four players. I got exactly what I deserved. It was great.

I jump into my next character, my next life.

The mad dash begins, I recognize the spawn... south side, Электрозководск... shit... a dead player in front of me does not give me warm fuzzies.

I check his corpse...

Two 1911 handguns, one 9mm handgun, pistol holster, full size backback, beans, fire axe, and .22 rifle. Score!!!

I hide... the next life has begun, and I want to inflict some pain on a bandit...

 

Lag lag lag- shit shit shit someone is shooting at me!

The  side city was a bust. I was barely able to breach the outer edge before my game was overcome by crippling lag. Texture bugs plagued the entire experience as DayZ desperately tried to load Low Quality textures in one moment and High Quality the next. It truly and completely sucked.

I managed to fix the worst of it by cranking up my settings to a higher quality which allowed me to flee the town. I had visited other cities without lag but there must have been something especially buggy about this one. I decided to leave the way I came back. The entire side trip cost me several bandages and most of my food as I kept getting jumped by zombies in the laggy confusion.

In doing so, I also suffered an arm fracture. Shit.

I only knew of one medical center within a 10 minute walk from my position. I tried to look at my compass to confirm which way I was heading but the most recent zombie attack reduced the innocent directional tool from Pristine to Ruined. I threw the useless scrap away and took off in what I figured to be East, South-East.

This entire trip was hectic. I was a little closer to the main road than I liked in en effort to avoid getting lost. I backtracked to the town I had previously staked out and managed to loot 39 more .22 rounds from the police station. Score!

On a whim I decided to check out one of the Gostinitsys and was glad I did as I found a pristine Long Range Scope. I had found three Mosins in about two days already and was sure this baby would come in handy at some point. Sure enough, I check the Administration building and found a Mosin on the floor.

The problem was, I already had an SKS with scope, a .22 rifle and a handgun in my backpack. I didn't want to ditch the SKS as I had 28 rounds between three clips... but I didn't want to abandon the .22 either as I had more than 90 rounds and two 30 round clips. As cool as a scoped bolt action rifle would be, I decided to leave it behind. I would probably get myself killed trying to use it, whereas I am much more comfortable with the .22

It feels good to be moving again. I had a certain sense of safety inside my little city. I knew where to expect zombies, where to camp out to avoid players, and a general sense of game stability. There was tons of food and lots of water. I could have lived there if not for the fact that it was more than a little boring.

While it did feel good to move, I also felt really exposed. My sense of control was now gone, and every zombie spawn meant taking more damage in an effort to pull out my hoe (I STILL haven't found an axe!!) or wasted bullets popping them with the .22

Slowly but surely, I was running out of bandages, food, and water... and my ARM was still fractured. Shit shit.

I finally break the tree line and end up where I expected, about half a kilometer from the hospital. I could easily see it from my vantage point... problem was, there were even more zombies and an even greater chance to run into another player (what I want most and least of all).

I stay in cover, going from bush to bush interspersed with mad dashes through no-man's-land. I was almost there when I get jumped by a military zombie. Either by lag or bad aim, I waste 7 bullets taking this guy down. I decide to pop inside the nearest building where my game is promptly dropped by the server. Upon relog, my .22 is gone.

Now, I feel a mixture of frustration and relief having lost the .22. Sure, I had tons of ammo for it and I had been carrying it for two days... but at the same time, having to constantly "Take a weapon into my hands" and having to drop said weapon every time I wanted to do something was really starting to get on my nerves. So I chalk loosing the .22 up to both good and bad fortune. I still had my SKS and I could easily rely on melee to dispatch any zombies. I decided to keep moving and not to dwell on my lost rifle.

I step outside and the wall exploded next to me with semi-automatic rifle fire.

I straight up bolt and run behind the building and make my way for a thicket. Three more shots, bang-bang-bang behind me. Not a single shot lands.

My heart rate is jacked and I shout back, "you motherfucker!" to no one in particular.

I make my way to the treeline and hump the dirt for a good fifteen minutes, SKS out. I scan the scene... nobody.

I wait for awhile... the phone rings in real life and I decide to log for about 20 minutes. I come back and decide that if I'm going to make a break for the hospital, now is my best chance.

I make my way under cover until I hit the clearing and full out sprint. My real-life heart was pounding despite the fact I sat lazily in my computer chair. I thought that I would be engaged in mortal combat at any second.

Nothing.

I stepped through the open door to the hospital and quickly closed all three doors. The tension is so high at this point that I feel the urge to urinate. I hold it in and frantically began to search for morphine and found some. One injection and my fractured arm was cured. If only real life was so simple. I wonder if they will make fractures/broken limbs more significant in later releases for the sake of realism?


The end of this session and I am back in player central. My sidearm is gone, I have one bullet loaded in my clip-less handgun (a one shot gut-gun in case I get robbed), and still no axe.

But I'm alive, hydrated, energized, and healthy...

Transfer stories from the DayZ Forum

(Here are my two transfer stories from the forum, comprising my first two posts since creating my account there)


I had pussyfooted my way around buying this game for awhile now before I finally bought it. Boy, am I glad I did.

I didn't really 'get' this game at first and actually felt like I had wasted my money after the first couple hours of gameplay. The learning curve combined with the unstable alpha feel is pretty unforgiving for the "bambi", as many of you call them. Once I got the mechanics down, I found it rather enjoyable to raid houses, chop wood, feed myself, stay warm: stay alive. The moment I learned how to open canned food with bladed weapons boosted my survival rate significantly, and actually made me shout out "booyah!" over a spilled can of imaginary "Tactical Bacon". I still didn't 'get' the game, though.

I didn't really concern myself with ranged weapons, figured everyone had taken all the good stuff way ahead of me anyway. Instead I focused on the life and death stuff, and after I had that down, I started getting the "what do I do now?/where the hell is everybody?" feeling. Dayz was really getting kind of lonely. Six hours in and on a 30 person server I still had not seen a single other survivor, and having only zombies for company was really getting on my nerves.

Then it happened.





"Hellllloooo", A stranger declared from behind me in a long and trailing voice,






I whipped around as fast I could. My heart was pounding, my axe out and ready. I responded without thinking,




"BACK OFF MAN, I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE".

The guy's reaction was priceless. He held up his arms and replied to my frantic plea, "woah woah woah buddy, be cool, be cool"

It was in this very encounter that I finally 'got' DayZ. The oppressive atmosphere had driven me into a simulated paranoia, that while subtle, flowed consistently beneath the current of the entire experience. Health, protection from the elements, food and water is one very controllable aspect in this game, the human element is not.

We talked a bit and he turned out to be friendly enough, and after a short while we raided a house together. My character was starving, and I greedily dove on each piece of fruit with a shout, "MINE!". We were very quickly split up  by zombies and I never saw him again. He must have died, oh well.

I was alone again... and I felt it.

Shortly thereafter, I was armed too.

I mean, really really armed. I found some spawn points lucked the hell out and scored three guns that fit some clips and bullets I had been carrying around, and while I felt safer in one respect I also felt a lot more exposed at the same time. I had not shot a single round in this game and had no idea how weapons reacted or the subtlety of reloading and inventory management, the realism of the game really began to sink in at this point. If this were real life and I had "scored" some weapons, I would be in the exact same position. I know how to basically shoot and operate firearms, but can I risk range testing them?

It is a strange feeling to find a weapon in this game and never know if you will live long enough to use it. So much time spent raiding for equipment and some jerkoff with a round chambered in a popgun could just drop me and loot my corpse/wounded body. This feeling is wonderful in terms of how easily it is invoked in DayZ, but horribly self aware and paranoia inducing at the same time. Its like a good horror movie, the experience is stressful but engaging on a primal level.

I saw a few more players at a distance, but instead of greeting them I just let them pass. Motorcycle helmet clad backpack wearers with rifles made me uneasy. Perhaps I watched too much Mad Max or perhaps I watched just the right amount. Was he a regular guy, friendly but cautious like me? Or a bandit on rendeavouz with some of his scumbag buddies.

I don't know, I don't know... better not to risk it.

Shortly after this encounter, I killed my first player.

I really didn't want to, but the guy forced my hand.

I was inside a cabin, sorting my equipment and discarding ruined items when I saw a player enter my living space. He had that bambi look: default jeans/shirt and armed with a pitchfork. I immediately raised my gun and asked him to leave me alone.

The guy said he was friendly, raised his arms and kind of watched me for a moment. I asked him what he wanted and he responded, "man, you are breaking up. I can't understand you. Type in the chat box". He edged a little closer.

Type in the chat box and let him get the jump on me? Do I look like I was born yesterday? Hell no. I told him in no uncertain terms to "get the fuck out or receive a bullet to the spine". Holy crap did he haul ass.

"Yeah that's right! RUN BOY!"

(I'm not proud that I actually shouted that)

This is where I made my mistake. I should have shot him the moment I suspected such a deliberate move to get the drop on me. Instead, I continued to close up shop in preparation to log off when I saw him sprinting into my cabin again through one of the open windows. In an instant it all became clear:

I had only enough time to raise my gun when he burst in. The awkward engine and item switching gave him enough time to land several successive shots with the rapid pitch fork. In the surprise/adrenaline I had accidentally lowered/unequipped my gun too, which gave him more chances to stick me. If I had not been wearing a helmet, I'm sure he would have landed a head shot and my character would be dead right now.

I finally got my semi-automatic rifle up and kept shooting until he dropped. I probably overdid it, and wasted five bullets on him, but the situation and the blurry grey screen made me lose my cool.

In end, you could call it a victory albeit a costly one. I survived, he didn't.

My heart was pounding as I bandaged myself up. In his inventory: A can of ruined beans and some torn up rags. Experienced player on respawn, or fresh bambi: it didn't matter. I had WAY more to lose than this guy and he knew it.

Now this is game is a RUSH... but I'm getting that anti-social feeling again. This attack affected the way I play this game. I can't trust anyone, but this game is sort of boring if I spend it completely alone in secluded areas... I want to reach out, but I can't.



***

At present the raiding/scavenging continues. I've found an isolated town somewhat off the beaten path that also happens to have a police station and government building. Close enough to civilization to interact with other players when I feel ready but reasonably far away that I feel somewhat isolated too. I find this to be a comfortable middle ground.

On a side note, five years of studying Russian and a little time abroad has kind of come in handy with this game. The Russian setting is a total bonus for me personally. I let role play fantasies pop into my head of playing a character that got trapped during the Apocalypse during a study abroad. I wonder if there are any dedicated Russian speaking servers? That would be cool as hell. I found that as a foreigner, it was easy enough to ingratiate myself with Russians - I'd be interested to see if the novelty of being a curious traveler carried over in DayZ as well.

So I staked out the entire town from a nice vantage point and have since raided each building more than once. I've learned a few more things about this game too. First off, I discovered that buildings labeled гостиницы (hotels) have lots of food, clothing, and quite often weapon tech (scopes/unusual equipment). I suppose because the hotel also doubles as a столовая (basically, kitchen)- which makes a lot of sense that they are so well stocked. The town I was in had two of these places so frequent scouting turned up some cool trinkets like a gun scope for my SKS and a waterproof container (as well as a good condition can opener!).

I've put away a lot of ammunition and was able to score two 30 round clips for my 22. rifle which I've managed to fill up completely with about 25 rounds left over on reserve. Its a quiet gun and I like that because this town also has a hell of a lot of zombie spawns crawling around. I discovered that if I hug walls and stay off the city streets, that I can usually avoid zombie encounters - but just in case, I feel a lot safer having a more stealthy gun with plenty of bullets. I also feel a lot more comfortable with the shooting mechanics now that I have practical experience aiming, reloading, holding my breath and naturally, capping zombies.

I had to log quickly while still inside the police station. I knew it was a risky maneuver but I took the chance. I was nervous when I logged back in later, and sure enough, as soon as I did I heard people talking to one another.

I raised my gun and listened to their conversation. With 30 rounds packed I was SURE I had the drop on them. There was no way for them to know I had logged in right on top of them, and while my heart was pumping and I felt taken by surprise, the element of surprise was mine. Let me tell you, it was a powerful feeling.

I sat inside the storage closet, gun ready, and listened.

"Ha ha, you got that right, man" one of them said.

"Shit, dude. I might log soon, I'm hunnnngry." said a second.

"Alright, let's blow." Said the first.

Okay, there is probably just two of them, I thought - and they are leaving, great. I waited a few beats and crept out of the closet. No one. I made my way up to the coopala on the roof and entered third person where I easily saw the two of them making their way down the street, carelessly playing tag with a zombie. I placed my .22 on the ground and pulled out the SKS, angling myself in the doorframe where I scooted forward until I had them in my scope.

These guys were totally screwing around, checking out buildings and melee killing zombies. They looked like they were having a good time too. I envied them, actually.

Then the inevitable thought popped into my head: Should I stay put, say hello... or kill them?

As friendly as I portrayed myself to be, I found myself actually dwelling on the "kill them" decision a little longer than I expected.

A lot could go wrong, sure. There were two of them, and I would probably only be able to kill one of them right off. But from my vantage point I could easily see his friend run away, allowing me to loot the corpse. If he chose to stay and fight I stood a fair chance taking him out. The more I thought about it the more powerful I felt.

What a strange strange feeling that no game has ever invoked in me before. Any other shooter, and it would have been little concern to kill these guys. They would respawn full stocked and good to go. In DayZ, absolutely not. I don't have to imagine how long it took them to learn this game, gear up, or find one another. I was in an interesting position to end their fun and if I'm being completely honest I found the prospect tantalizing.

I lowered my gun. No. There was no need. My guy was energized, hydrated and healthy. My vision clear, my backpack stuffed with food and bullets and I knew my terrain. Most importantly: they were leaving. There was no reason to kill these guys, who seemed to be rather enjoying the apocalypse, together.

I watched them go for awhile, heading west, presumably towards the next populated city. It was at this moment that I decided it was time to leave and set off South, into the woods.

My destination: one more side city and then back towards the coast, where I will seek out other players and see what the hell happens...  

A brave new world

My greetings to all. 

Based upon some positive feedback in the Day Z forums, I have decided to start a blog so that I may properly organize and dwell upon my experiences playing Day Z. This is an intense game that has invoked a lot of unexpected feelings in me as a player. DayZ, while still Alpha release, is a good game while not necessarily a fun one. I know this seems like a rather paradoxical statement, but honestly DayZ is not fun.

It is thrilling, however - and terrifying, paranoia inducing, and ever so stressful... the kinds of feelings one might experience in a "real" apocalypse. 

This emphasis on realism adds a rather primal element to the entire experience. Shelter, water, food bullets. To run or to hide? To seek out other players or kill them and loot their corpse. Day Z does not reward fresh spawns with new gear, rifles and ammunition. To take another player's life in this game means to mercilessly damn them to start over again from scratch. Most of my decisions have been made in a split second as situations rarely afford me the opportunity to weigh my options. It is this kind of realism in video games that invokes the most interesting and realistic player interactions I have ever seen in a video game (and it is why I play). 

The Day Z tagline, "This is Your Story" is a rather fitting one. Player experiences vary wildly from one fresh spawn to the next, a 'life' often blessed or damned from the get go. I hope to take this idea to heart, mixing up my mentality and play style with each new "life" or perhaps letting my mindset change organically from positive and negative experiences. My current life, for example, is one of the "compassionate loner": never trusting, ever fearful, self sufficient. Will I get shot in the gut giving food to a stranger, grow bitter as a result and plug the next seemingly friendly wastelander? Or will I reach out and make a real connection with another human being inside this compelling and freaky fantasy world? 

I don't know, man! I don't know. (Bites fingernails nervously; looks frantically over both shoulders)

The only basic rule I will try to play by is this:

()No teamspeak or Steam friends (at least at first): if I make a friend in game, I will maintain that friendship for as long as we are in one another's vicinity. If I lose touch or we get split up by bandits/zombies, that's life, baby. I want this experience to feel as natural as possible.

And with that, good luck in Чернорус+... I look forward to sharing my stories with you.